What the heck is an oxy/moron?

Definition of oxymoron
 oxymora \ˌäk-si-ˈmȯr-ə, -sē-\
a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (such as cruel kindness); broadly 
something (such as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements
a person (such as myself) that possesses many contradictory, incongruous but oh so complementary qualites.

Let's keep this simple:

What do you need?

Odds are I can help you with that. Seriously.